The thin line between negative and positive scolding

Poojan Behal : When you come from an Indian family, more often than not you get to see children getting scolded and when it gets too much, sometimes even slapped. Which, in all honesty, is kind of funny later.

Some people strongly believe that to show children the right path in their lives, it is important for their parents and elders to guide them and if need be, take drastic measures to make them understand the gravity of a situation or to punish them. I believe that that is the correct way to teach children and make them feel responsible for their actions and its consequences.
But, how do we decide where the line lies? And how to not cross that line? As humans, we all make mistakes, it is in our nature to learn from our mistakes, right? But as a parent, that one mistake could cause a major grievance in the life of their child. Or it could be a turning point in their life to something much more positive and happy.

An example of positive scolding would be to make the child understand the importance of studies or self- reliance and being independent. Whereas, negative scolding would be, scolding a child for the same thing time and again when you could just sit and talk to them instead. In positive punishment, a stimulus (reprimand) is added in order to decrease negative behavior, and in negative punishment, one removes a pleasant stimulus in order to decrease a certain behavior, for example, taking away your child’s phone. A punishment of this sort has more of a chance to work positively through your child’s mind instead of making him/ her feel guilty about their behavior by telling them all the things you’ve done for them and scolding them.
Communication is the most important part of any relationship, especially between children and their parents. If they cannot communicate freely with their family, they are bound to be closed up in front of other people as well.

If a parent just imposes their choices on their kids without asking them their opinions on the same, it is quite possible that the child would react in a negative manner. Parenting is a difficult task but the single most important task that could shape a child’s life. Sometimes parents could mess up their kids by scolding them too much, or too little. To understand the perfect balance, is what is good parenting. Not that there is a particular way to do it, some kids are so easy to deal with, no drama, no rebellion, and some are just downright impossible. But the correct attitude of the parent could shape the child in a way that’s not destructive for both the child and the parent.

Instead of picking out mistakes from your child’s behavior, one should try to mold them into a better person. Sometimes yelling could build anxiety in your child and create strains in your relationship. In order to strengthen both your relationship and their confidence, it is better to talk it out, punish them positively or just make them understand their mistake. When children are treated like adults, they tend to behave in more responsible manner, when they know you trust them blindly, they trust you back similarly too. There are better chances that they will discuss it with you before making another mistake, and who knows, maybe those mistakes will be an experience for the both of you, instead of a strain!

Share on Facebook

Tweet

Follow us

Save